Make Me- Forcing Myself To Get Going

My mother always goes to the South Bend Farmer’s Market every other Thursday.  I woke this morning and forced myself out of bed so that I could go and meet her there. I think that she looks as this being our time to bond.

This week, as I expected, was different because she is really worried about me.

I entered the building and went straight to the ATM.  If I don’t have cash on me, she will try to buy me everything that I say I want to get. God bless her, but she shouldn’t be buying me anything. I should be buying her stuff.

She’s already sitting at a table outside of the little cafe in the market. She’s enjoying a glass of iced tea and reading on her Kindle. I sit down. She looks at me. I am not a pretty sight in my hoodie and track pants. At least my hair was ok. Sort of.

I call this look “gym chic”. Like I just came from working out in the gym. I also have a look I refer to as “Homeless chic”. That’s where you look like you rolled out of a dumpster. I look like that a lot. It’s my preferred method of attire.

Homeless chic serves two purposes. You don’t have to dirty your nice clothes and no one will talk to you in public. I don’t like to be social sometimes so that look is perfect for that.  The down side is that loss prevention will follow you at Wal Mart. Ha!


She’s very concerned about me. I allow her to tell me what’s on her mind. We have a real conversation about the “what if’s” and what I think my game plan is. I don’t have one so I fake it for the moment. Then we go over how I am feeling.

I drank two cups of coffee. Or I should say, I added some coffee to my sugar.

I am so tired.

We walked around and did our shopping. I always enjoy getting bunches of flowers from a local greenhouse owned by the Lemler family. They are the best that you will ever see for $6 a bunch.

I like having beautiful things to look at….

Two bunches!
Two bunches!


I am glad that I forced myself out of bed.  I had slept late like I needed to. I went home and immediately started getting ready for work. Considering that I hadn’t been out and about in awhile, it was probably good for me to have a little exercise and socialize a bit.

I also think that if I just lay around all of the time, I will get weak. I need to stay strong.


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